Wow, it’s easy to see that these are the dog days of summer. The National Days are really reaching… today is take your pants for a walk day. I suppose you could reason that what it is really telling you is to go for a walk, and if you are walking in shorts or naked, then take your pants along with you. It’s sort of appropriate if you think about it though. So many of our talk show hosts and news reporters sitting a desks are dressed in suits from the waist up but wearing shorts, or less, below the camera view. So, if this includes you, take your pants out for a walk so they can see the light of day and hope, that if needed, you still fit in them. And we should note that it is also Take your Houseplants for a Walk Day (makes ya kind of wonder if someone just accidentally misspelled it at some point – thus creating 2 national holidays).
How to celebrate – Put on a pair of pants. Go for a walk. Go back to bed and wait for tomorrow.
Just like your dog, your pants really need the exercise so they should be taken for a walk. Whether you are in them or not is an entirely different question. It seems like in fashion today it really doesn’t matter all that much whether you wear them or not, particularly if they are down around your knees. (How can that be comfortable?)
Now frankly, it’s a little hard to take your pants for a walk if you are not in them. So it leads to more like Drag Your Pants Around Day. Let’s hope it’s not raining! But if you don’t like walking your pants then maybe it is a drag!
And what if you only have one pair of pants? Then what do you do? And why are they called a pair of pants when there is only one pant there? Life must be very confusing for pants. Keep that in mind when you look at them today hanging in your closet. See how lonely they look, particularly during the summer!
Make sure, however, that if you are walking your pants you only take them to appropriately marked areas. Believe it or not, a nudist colony is a perfect place to take your pants since otherwise they will have nothing to do all day but hang out.
Now don’t make today something about you. It’s all about your pants! There will be other days you can walk your dress or coat. And whatever you do, don’t get caught with your pants down! They would be really embarrassed.
How to celebrate – Take your pants for a walk. Wearing them is optional. Make sure to wash them when you get back home.
We take our pants for granted. They protect us, keep us warm, and cover up some of our most vulnerable areas so it’s about time we did something for them. Something like, taking them for a walk today.
They do spend a lot of time in the closet, just hanging out without a lot to do. They fight off moths, wrinkles, and rips, always ready to serve in a minutes notice and give us a leg up on the competition when possible.
Sometimes they do have pressing “kneeds” and admittedly they are often “de-creased”, but then you would be too if you had to be stretched and pressed into action daily. They’d love to spend a day at the beach because they rarely are seen there, or go swimming in a pool, and maybe just once wear them in the shower instead of wadding them up in a washing machine when it comes time for them to take a bath.
So grab your pants by the belt loop, give them a good tug and take them for a walk. It’s a great way to patch up your relationship even though they may zip their lips for the abuse you’ve put them through. They will eventually loosen up and follow where ever you lead.
How to celebrate – Take your favorite pants for a walk today. Break out those old bell bottoms since they haven’t seen the light of day in years. Try and patch up your relationship with pants you may have abused, don’t be a “slack-er”.